i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
