i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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