I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
