fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
