My friends, they love my intelligence
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
