there's paper in my vomit.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
