Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
