i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
