We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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