He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
