Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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