Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
