I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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