You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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