eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
