He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We are all done wearing pants today
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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