I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
