Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
