it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
