So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
