his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
