using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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