This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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