there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
