We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
