Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
