Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
