i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
