you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
