he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
