I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Be still, my beating vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
