i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
