North Korea, Best Korea!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize