yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
