wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
