according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
