Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
