Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
