every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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