DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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