two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
