Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
