New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
