I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
