a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
