I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
