I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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