I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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