You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
