Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
