oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
