Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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