I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
